Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Why do I have to keep clarifying things?

I am so sick and tired of answering the phones. Every time Joe sends out a mailer the office is flooded with calls. So let me clarify the latest mailer.

I know it looks a little ridiculous that Joe is saying that one of his proudest moments as alderman happened 14 years ago. I know that He should be proud of other things. We're brainstorming all the time on this! But He did do that one thing back in 1993 that helped to bring CAPS to our neighborhood. I know He doesn't attend the meetings anymore and they don't really work the way they're supposed to, but He brought them here. And so what if in 1993 He might have been a lean, eager alderman looking to make a name for Himself. He's not that lean and eager any more. And He's made his name and He's resting on it.

It's was the same thing with the mailer on the Iraq war. Joe is using what's available. He can't rail against the Vietnam war - that's over. But I think with Joe's record (especially on crime) one can see that he's perfect for standing up and saying that we shouldn't defend people who can't defend themselves. And that photo he used of the man weeping on the flag. It was a stock photo! It wasn't a real photo. I wish people would stop saying that he used that man. He wasn't even a real man.

I'm really annoyed today. Joe is going to go buy me a pastry. I need a little something to get through the rest of the day. And the last time we had pastries, we laughed and laughed. I like watching him jiggle.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Clarification

I hear a lot people talking about where the Joe gets His money from. It's all right up front and available for anyone to look at through the State of Illnois Board of Elections website. Here's the link:

http://www.elections.state.il.us/CampaignDisclosure/welcome.aspx

Just click on the candidates tab in the left bar. Then you can search. You can even find out how much Adams, Ginderske and Gordon have raised. It's all very above board as politics should be.

Joe raised $112,000 in the first half of the year! He's amazing! Taking money left and right mostly from developers. Some people don't even live in our ward and yet they support Joe. I wonder how much He's raised since then. They don't have the other files posted yet.

Oh! You can see the list of expenditures too. Joe spends a lot on gas for His car and at Dominicks on food. I wish He'd by more fruit. Office Max and Office Depot eat up a lot of money. And they aren't even in the ward. I think this must be why Joe wants a Staples store at Granville. And He only spent a lousy $50 on my gift:

Target Stores 2201 W. Howard Evanston, IL 60201 $50.00
1/12/2006 Expenditure
Citizens for Joe More gift card for intern party



Jeesh. Like I shop at Target! I go downtown where they have real stores to shop for clothes. It's not like we have anything here but resale shops and Target.

Monday, January 29, 2007

Debate Time!

Yesterday's debate was awesome! I was so impressed by Joe and how He was able to be kind and casual with every day people. Joe really isn't that used to every day people. He usually rubs elbows with much, much, much more important people.

I was a bit upset by Joe always touching Ginderske. I don't understand why He would keep doing that. Unless of course, Joe is worried that Ginderske might win the election. Then He might want to chum up to him. I think I'll ask Joe about this when I go in to the office later. I was very glad when Ginderske made sure that the audience understood he didn't want Joe to touch him.

Overall, I think the debate was an interesting part of the political process. If more people would just show up then we could really have some discourse going on. Unlike what happens on Mr. BrokenHeart's blog. Political discourse is the furthest thing from his mind. It sounds more like a Heineken or two, or three, or twelve is what he really wants. I think Mr. BH was a bit jealous of all the touching that Joe put out. Maybe Mr. BH wants Joe to touch him. Well he can't have Him! He's mine!

I thought Gordon came across a bit stiff until he almost started blubbering talking about his three moms. Puke! A grown man crying in front of people he wants to lead? I would prefer a stronger man running the ward.

As for Ginderske. I did like his eyes - a very pretty blue. I wish Jay Johnson was there!

Adams was very girlie. I wasn't sure if it was because he came from the south or wanted to be a preacher. Either way, too girlie for me.

Joe hasn't put up the debates on his website, so let me do it here:

February 1, 2007 at 7:00 pm
Loyola Park Fieldhouse
1230 W. Greenleaf
Sponsored by Rogers Park Community Council and DevCorp North

February 3, 2007 at 10:00 am
United Church of Rogers Park
1545 W. Morse
Sponsored by Rogers Park Community Action Network (RPCAN)

February 7, 2007 at 6:00 pm
United Church of Rogers Park
1545 W. Morse
Sponsored by ONE/League of Women Voters

February 14, 2007 at 7:30 am
No Exit Cafe
6970 N. Glenwood
Sponsored by Rogers Park BizArts

February 14, 2007 at 10:00 am
Good News Community Church
7649 N. Paulina
Sponsored by Howard Area's Alternative High School and Senior Club

P.S. Mr. BrokenHeart deleted my comments! All I said was that my dad said he seemed like a homophobe.

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Forward Motion

Well, my date with Rodney was very educational. Apparently, he and his friend (all bangers) help Joe with his campaign. They will be going door-to-door and passing out literature, driving old people to vote, and generally making their presence felt in the neighborhood. He says that the Disciples are part of the Folk Nation. It sounds so lovely! Like Peter, Paul and Mary or maybe Joan Baez would sing some freedom songs. Joe must be happy to have such wholesome people working to support him.

Also, I need to clear up some confusion about the mailer Joe sent out last week. There is a picture of him at an immunization clinic. He is seated with a woman and child. Just for the record, that is not Joe's child. He does not actually have any black children of his own. The picture is what He calls a 'photo op'. I'm not sure what 'op' means but He was very busy and couldn't explain. He did say that He likes to stage the 'photo op' so that He looks very involved in the community.

But a lot of people have called the office wondering where the immunization clinic is in our neighborhood. But I've been doing some research and all I can find off the City's website about immunization clinics is this:

Uptown Neighborhood Health Center
845 W. Wilson
(312) 742-3227
Fax: (312) 742-3238
Hours of Operation:
Mon, Wed, Fri: 8 a.m.- 4 p.m.
Tue, Thu: 10 a.m.- 6 p.m.
Closed 2nd Wed every month (12 - 4 p.m.)

That's not in my neighborhood. That's probably good. I bet there's a bunch of vagrants and dope fiends that go to the clinics. But I hope that children can still be immunized. It's important. I mean, it's no Foie Gras issue, but children need to be taken care of by adults. Like the ducks, they can't stand up and fight for themselves.

This also may be helpful:
National Immunization Program
Email: nipinfo@cdc.gov
Website: www.cdc.gov/nip/
Provides information about vaccines, including precautions and contraindications for immunization and vaccine shortages.

OR
Mark Amerson
Illinois Dept of Public Health, Immunization Program
525 W. Jefferson St.
Springfield, IL 62761-0001
Phone: 217-785-1455 Fax: 217-524-0967 Mark.amerson@illinois.gov

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

I met a BOY!!

This morning as I was reading through that scum hellhole blog, the cutest boy in the world walked into the alderman's office. His name is Rodney and he's volunteering his time for Joe's campaign. Apparently Rodney is very religious as he belongs to the Disciples. It must be a religious organization devoted to God, because God has disciples. I will find out more when I have my date with Rodney. He said something about "banger" so maybe he'll take me out to an Irish breakfast.

I'm nearly finished with my duties for today. Off to do some homework and dream of Rodney. We have our first date tomorrow.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Dreaming of Sunnier Days

Today I'm just sitting in the alderman's office answering phones. The blogs are boring today. But the phones are ringing!

You can imagine how many phone calls Joe might get on any given day, but He's really being bombarded by people who want to know what He's going to do about the issues in the ward. Like He hasn't already been working 16 years on these same issues! People are very rude about the issues. They all seem to think the problems we have are Joe's fault. But one man can't create all of the problems that 60,000 people experience. Can He?

If Joe gets re-elected, He's promised me a nice position in His office. He won't say what the position is, but giggles and says that I will like it best if I'm prepared for a 'back entrance'. I don't know what he means! We only have a front door. Sometimes men are so strange.

Phone is ringing. Off to dreams of sunnier days.

Monday, January 22, 2007

The Heat is On.

Yawn! I'm really sick of the bloggers. I wish Joe would just let me do something else. Today Mr. BrokenHeart caught a bad guy breaking in to a building. Very exciting for him since he seems like a big fat bore. But very dry news for me. I don't really care that he caught some bad guys. Joe might but I doubt it.

I really would like to be more helpful to Joe's campaign. He's getting kind of busy these days what with all of these other poser-want-to-be-alderman people getting all sorts of press coverage. I thought Joe looked real neat when He was talking about the CTA on the television. I just wish that Joe would have stuck to the topic. He came across as a bit stupid. I mean, how can you upgrade the system and NOT have downtime? I've been trying to tell Him this for days! But usually He just wants me to sit quietly and read these darn blogs. He says I look pretty in the sunlight.

I'm really starting to believe that Mr. BrokenHeart isn't on Joe's side at all. It seems that he's supporting that Gordon guy. I think Gordon looks like Skeletor or some other scary skeleton character. I wouldn't vote for him based just on how creepy he looks. But I've noticed that Mr. BrokenHeart is all out to get everyone but Gordon. I think that must be who he's supporting.

Okay, back to work. I need to finish up writing the lunch order for Joe and Kevin. Don't tell anyone but they eat Foie Gras on a constant weekly basis. Have you seen Joes' middle? He's got quite the tummy and that isn't from eating fruit.

Friday, January 19, 2007

Bloggers! Bloggers! Bloggers!

Gosh, I had to actually do some homework, so I haven't been volunteering that much this week. So this morning, bright and early, I got up to at least catch up on Mr. BrokenHeart. He is really helping Joe out by attacking all of the other candidates. He's not on Joe's payroll though, I checked. He's just doing it out of the kindness of his broken heart. And he wants to know who I am! Like my mom and dad would let me give my name to a gross old man!

I mean, he may be a polished, professional journalist who is also a detective, but he's still just a gross old man to me.

I've looked at a couple of other blogs to see what people are saying. Here are three more:

www.howardwatchers.blogspot.com
www.rogersparkbench.blogspot.com
www.morosehellhole.blogspot.com

But no one seems to make comments on these blogs. So I'm not going to waste my time there. Also no one really seems to be helping Joe. I help Joe. Mr. BrokenHeart helps Joe.

I've really been thinking about things. I like that becoming involved politics has provoked thought within myself. I could grow up to be president one day. Joe says so. He says I have real talent for the Whitehouse. I think he likes the blue dress that I'm wearing today. Blue is a very political color.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

The Day After MLK

I just love a day off! Thank God for Martin Luther King. Mr. King was righteous. I think that's why Joe decided to basically use Mr. King's speech in his last mailer. I thought he was very clever to try and convince people that he's a black social leader.

You know that we have black people in our neighborhood. Joe keeps them here. Along with the other 30% latino and the other 30% white - we are a very diverse neighborhood. Wow. I wonder what the other 10% are? Gay? I think that's right. 10% of the population is gay. Joe isn't gay. He was married but He couldn't do it any longer. Anyways, that's personal stuff.

The bloggers. Here's one:

www.morsehellhole.blogspot.com

WEIRDO! I mean really! Didn't you see Mr. BrokenHeart in Joe's newsletter last week? Mr. BrokenHeart is a Joe supporter but he sure doesn't act like it. Unless of course, you think about how he makes his claim to fame in the neighborhood through his Hellhole blog. And if Joe who makes Morse the way it is, loses the election, then wouldn't Mr. BrokenHeart lose his fun and "power" that he thinks he has. (AS IF!) Still it does make him a good contender for a Joe supporter. I just don't understand why he's not nicer to Joe.

Okay. More when I explore the other Rogers Park bloggers and find out their weaknesses too!

Friday, January 12, 2007

Day Three

So I'm on lunch break right now after another interesting morning in Joe's office. Today we discussed all of the neighborhood bloggers and how much they annoy Joe. I mean, really, these people seem to think that He's corrupt and evil. But have you seen His eyes? Not quite Jay Johnsons but close. Really, He makes my heart go pitter patter and that can't be evil, right?

Joe wants me to start reading all of these blogs and to make sure that a positive voice for Him is heard in the neighborhood. I think this should be an exciting use of my time as these bloggers really run the neighborhood. But I'm going to show them. I'll be Joe's watchdog and voice.

Heck, people may even come here to read what's it like to be an intern to Joe More. He's a man of high principle and I get down on my knees and thank Him for his hard work.

Okay, I'll let you know what blogs I'll be reading soon. I need to go shred some of this papers that might indicate his whole smoke and mirror act (that's the right metaphor, right?) with the Foie Gras issue just really misdirected the neighborhood attention away from lake front preservation, health care and crime. Jeesh, some days it's almost like the commies from the 1950s are alive and well in Rogers Park.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Day Two!

It's only been a half day for me at the alderman's office, but I've learned so much in those few short hours.

For one, I didn't realize just how much our alderman loves these developers. Criminy! After going through those blueprints and the financial contributions, I was really amazed. But then Joe starting about his good friend Jay Johnson, who, according to Joe, is a terrific landlord. I thought he had really nice eyes.

I was reading the latest copy of the Onion. Such a respected newspaper! They just did a retrospective on George W. Bush and though he's a Republican (puke!), I thought the retrospective was very interesting. Perhaps someone could shed the same insight on the last 16 years of Joe's tenure. Too bad the Onion is a national paper and not local. They just might find Joe's history as interesting.

I just wish everyone would stop talking about the darn Foie Gras issue. I mean, we have ducks that land in our lake right here in Rogers Park. Doesn't anyone care about them they way Joe does? I plan on talking with Him tomorrow about this issue. I'd really like to see how we can help the ducks in Rogers Park.

Tuesday, January 9, 2007

My First Day

Today I woke up and wanted to help change the world. I decided that I would do something in my very own neighborhood. I decided that I would help Joe More get re-elected.

The Aldermanic Election is on February 27. That's only 49 days left!!!! That's our ward number!

Wow. Isn't life really neat when coincendence happen like that?!

It was my job today to go through all of the blueprint plans that are stacked in the alderman's office and make sure that we've received money from each of the developers and architects. It's amazing how these things work.

I came home at 3pm and watched a rerun of Dawson's Creek and dreamed of tomorrow.