Oooo, Love Is In The Air

I think love is afoot in the city! I just received my second letter asking for advice. I don't believe it's coincidence that a foreign exchange student has written me. I need to get these lovebirds together.

Dear Mary Jo,

you don't matter if I call you with your first name I hope. I can't say my name, but that's ok, isn't it? I am not from America, I'm only here as an exchange student. I can't tell you where I come from, because I don't want the other kids of my class to know that it's me.
I have a boy in my class who is really cute with very blue eyes and big muscles. He even has hairs on his arms! He's also very clever and knows all the answers in our history class. Many girls of my class like him and want to be his girlfriends, but I don't think he dates any of them. He seems very unapproachable (and I hope that this is a real word!). I'm a little bit shy, so I could never just go and talk to him and ask him if he would like to go to the cinema with me or so. I have to go back to my country again soon. If I don't talk to him before, I'd be very unhappy and mad at me. But what if I do and then I find out he doesn't want to go out with me? What can I do? Thank you for your help and please excuse my bad English.

Your Unhappy in XXX


Dear Unhappy in XXX,
First of all, your English is quite good and you should feel proud of how American you sound. In fact, a lot of Americans are not as good at grammar as you are. So wrap an American flag around you and sing the national anthem - it would be very appropriate right after Independence Day.
You need to overcome your shyness and approach this boy. Blue eyes and muscles? What are you waiting for? He sounds perfectly dreamy and I have it on good authority that he does like you too. (Hint: Read the letter below!)
Besides, you need to practice your English and he could help you. And you could teach him a foreign accent. Aren't foreign accents sexy? Maybe you could introduce me to a boy from your country? Rodney doesn't have an accent and it makes me a little sad.
American boys are a lot like couches. You have to sit on a few to find one that's comfortable but once you do, you will never want to get off. Grab your couch and sit on it!
Sincerely,
Mary Jo

My First Letter!

Here we go ladies and gentlemen - my first advice letter:

Dear Alderman's Intern,

First, let me say I think you're so cool, the way you have all these experiences and are involved in politics and all. I wish I had the time, but between school and hanging out and playing video games, well, you know how it is. I need the advice of a worldly woman like you! I really like this girl, but she's an exchange student, and I know she'll soon be going back to her home country (I don't want to say what it is, because then the other kids might know who I was talking about and that it was me writing and all), and I really want to be her boyfriend, but I'm not sure if it's a good idea. I think she likes me because one of her friends told one of my friends that she does. I'm really confused. Can you tell me what I should do? I don't want to get all involved and then she just leaves, you know?

Anxious in Evanston


Dear Anxious in Evanston,

Thank you for your compliments. I gave up video games for politics last year and I will be forever grateful for that decision. You might want to think about that.

As for the foreign girl, I think if one of her friends told you she likes you than you can count on that as a solid source. I would take that as a positive that you should move forward and ask her to be your girlfriend. You would really want to do this before she goes back to her other country because there might be boys there that like her too. And you want to be sure that you lock her in a relationship with you before she goes home and gets to listen to all of those sexy accents. I just love a boy with an accent. I wish Rodney had an accent but he really doesn't. Sometimes he tells me he's talking "ghetto" but it really doesn't change the sound of his voice. And Joe has only Chicago accent and I don't really find his voice sexy at all. I mean, I let him kiss me to just shut him up.

But back to you. I can see where you are worried that you might get your heart broken but I think if you make her commit to you before she leaves then everything should be fine. Either you can move there when you are done with high school or she could move her when she is done. Either way I believe true love conquers all. I say go for it!

Sincerely,
Mary Jo

Exciting New Service!

I've been pretty lazy about politics lately. I guess I just got bored after I finally kissed Joe and it was totally gross. I decided recently that since I am now a woman and have wordly experience that I would like to become an advice columnist. You can now write me your questions about life and I will post a response here so that everyone can learn together.

Now write me a question!

maryjo.beaver@gmail.com