Oooo, Love Is In The Air

I think love is afoot in the city! I just received my second letter asking for advice. I don't believe it's coincidence that a foreign exchange student has written me. I need to get these lovebirds together.

Dear Mary Jo,

you don't matter if I call you with your first name I hope. I can't say my name, but that's ok, isn't it? I am not from America, I'm only here as an exchange student. I can't tell you where I come from, because I don't want the other kids of my class to know that it's me.
I have a boy in my class who is really cute with very blue eyes and big muscles. He even has hairs on his arms! He's also very clever and knows all the answers in our history class. Many girls of my class like him and want to be his girlfriends, but I don't think he dates any of them. He seems very unapproachable (and I hope that this is a real word!). I'm a little bit shy, so I could never just go and talk to him and ask him if he would like to go to the cinema with me or so. I have to go back to my country again soon. If I don't talk to him before, I'd be very unhappy and mad at me. But what if I do and then I find out he doesn't want to go out with me? What can I do? Thank you for your help and please excuse my bad English.

Your Unhappy in XXX


Dear Unhappy in XXX,
First of all, your English is quite good and you should feel proud of how American you sound. In fact, a lot of Americans are not as good at grammar as you are. So wrap an American flag around you and sing the national anthem - it would be very appropriate right after Independence Day.
You need to overcome your shyness and approach this boy. Blue eyes and muscles? What are you waiting for? He sounds perfectly dreamy and I have it on good authority that he does like you too. (Hint: Read the letter below!)
Besides, you need to practice your English and he could help you. And you could teach him a foreign accent. Aren't foreign accents sexy? Maybe you could introduce me to a boy from your country? Rodney doesn't have an accent and it makes me a little sad.
American boys are a lot like couches. You have to sit on a few to find one that's comfortable but once you do, you will never want to get off. Grab your couch and sit on it!
Sincerely,
Mary Jo