Why do I have to keep clarifying things?

I am so sick and tired of answering the phones. Every time Joe sends out a mailer the office is flooded with calls. So let me clarify the latest mailer.

I know it looks a little ridiculous that Joe is saying that one of his proudest moments as alderman happened 14 years ago. I know that He should be proud of other things. We're brainstorming all the time on this! But He did do that one thing back in 1993 that helped to bring CAPS to our neighborhood. I know He doesn't attend the meetings anymore and they don't really work the way they're supposed to, but He brought them here. And so what if in 1993 He might have been a lean, eager alderman looking to make a name for Himself. He's not that lean and eager any more. And He's made his name and He's resting on it.

It's was the same thing with the mailer on the Iraq war. Joe is using what's available. He can't rail against the Vietnam war - that's over. But I think with Joe's record (especially on crime) one can see that he's perfect for standing up and saying that we shouldn't defend people who can't defend themselves. And that photo he used of the man weeping on the flag. It was a stock photo! It wasn't a real photo. I wish people would stop saying that he used that man. He wasn't even a real man.

I'm really annoyed today. Joe is going to go buy me a pastry. I need a little something to get through the rest of the day. And the last time we had pastries, we laughed and laughed. I like watching him jiggle.